still. bloodymary.

breathingtreetalloneoperatorslenderone.

you are not mine. to have.

you are. enemy.

you always were.

i wish it had. been different.

i wish it had not. ended in war. in so many. on both sides dead.

in the children. deaddeaddeaddeadslaughteredallslaughtered.

but i will not. cry. for you.

when gone. i still. am here.

do not forget. OuO

ritual.

ashtree ashtree. why so ungrateful?

it is because of me. you still have. your soullifeselfspirit.

i would always have. let you have them. had you trusted me. you would not have suffered.

you only made it. more painful. by struggling.

(iamsorry)

i took. him deep into forest. into nightdarkshadows. where there is. no lightjoyhappiness.

it rained. that evening.

the ritual began. with what few servants. i had left.

they bound him. to a tree. he protested at first. panicked. screamed. cried.

my branches. brushed away his tears.

why did? he cry? he was safesafesafesafesafe.

(iwillkeephimsafe.)

i whispered. to him. the wordswordswordswordswords. meant for him.

the words. only he would. understand.

and he listened.

(openmindopendooropenwindow.)

i offered him. tearsbloodsapvitae. but he would not drink.

instead. he bit. me.

fortuitous. OuO

the tearsbloodsapvitae. leaked into his mouth. it was not much. a few drops. but enough.

i had not intended to. take his mind in full.

(suchiswhatthebreathingtreedoesiamnothe.)

he came around. to me soon enough.

he is now called char.

and he is mine.

OuO

 ash. is with me.

he could not run. for long.

starlingtiredstarling. caught him trying. to escape the town.

he stood. no chance. my children. are very strong.

and now he is with me. pleading. crying. from his cage of roots.
(minemineminemineminealwaysmine.)

will serve. me very well.

drawtheblinds

i found him.

fightinghimfightinghimfightinghimfightinghimfightinghim.

was not easy.

my branches his branches broken.

so many. lost. either side. the dead lay scattered.

ashtree ran. thank all. that he ran. or he would also have died.

(iweepiweepiweepiweepiweepiweepforthethought.)

i had him pinned. the breathing tree. we had ourselves. pinned. branches through branches through bark.

ibledhedidnothedoesnotbleed.

but his breathing. was labored. from painpainpainpainpain.

(he was very very weakened so weakened as was i)

eyeless gaze locked. with my own.

(amongst the dead
no silence broken
no words were said
no whispers spoken)

we stayed like that. for a while. as we had before. when he tortured me with only. his sight.

(iwasalwayshisfavoritetotwist.)

he flailed. in pain. sight never. left mine. it was pitiful.

(iwept.)

i could not kill him.

i could have. easily. but i did not. i could have made. him suffer. in his last breaths.

but i did not.

and neither did he. kill me. despite having ample opportunity to.

i understand it now.

it was never. about ashtree. it was always. about me. about his own. failings to contain me.

he needed. to prove he still had power. over me. despite him having. so much over everything else.

he needed. to prove himself. able to control. what had once found weakness. in him.

(butdespiteallhiseffortshestillcouldnotkillitburyitsmotheritmurderit.)

he understands it now. iamnothisneverneverneveragain. and i am not to be attacked againagainagain.

we each let. the other go.

that was. 1one week ago. i have not. seen him since.

has he left? me alone for now?

whywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy? would he?

(iaskthebranchesoverhead:dotreeshavesoulsorarewedead?)

saveyou.

 mychildrenhetookashdeaddeaddeaddeaddeadremnantisdeadiweep.

ashtreeiwillsaveyousaveyousaveyou.

ifitisthelastthing. ido.

observeobserveobserveobserveobserveobserveobserveobserveobserveobserveobserveobserve

ashtree. i see you wandering.

(iwanderthroughthelovelywoodsiwanderthroughthewoods...)

your path. is being twisted.

back to him.

back to me.

whowillwinwhowillwinmustbememememememememustbe.

do you enjoy? tug of war?

(theforestclosesinonyouslowlyslowlyslowlyslowlyslowly...)

ashashashashashashashashashashashashashashashashashashashashash

do you know? why i destroyed? the humans?

because he would have. used them. against you.

because they are not. to be trusted.

because they tried. to stop me from taking. their children.

(thecrusadeofchildren)

they were unnecessary. this town belongs mememememememememe. now.

i have 20twenty remaining. i do not know. how many. he has. i can find more. manymanymanymanymanymanymoremoremore.

 i am nearly. recovered.

you cannot run. from me. my children guard. the exits.

you will stay. stay. stay stay stay staystaystaystaystaystaystaystaystaystay